THIS BABY DOLL WILL BE A JUNKIE

I am the second child of my single, underage mother

At age six I am my stepfather’s scapegoat and he starts
to abuse me

At age twelve an unsuccessful attempt is made by my brother to report
the fact that I am being abused to the police

At age thirteen I fall in love with my boyfriend

At age thirteen I hang out with older kids, start smoking hash
and drinking alcohol

At age fourteen I use cocaine and other drugs for the first time

At age fourteen I am admitted to hospital and given treatment for months
because my kidneys

At age fourteen my boyfriend starts using drugs

At age sixteen my mother decides that my child must be aborted

At age seventeen my boyfriend kills himself with a pump-action gun

At age seventeen I lose my mother and my faith in life

After my boyfriend’s death I try to kill myself in any way I can find,
and my grandmother suffers from my misery

At age seventeen I have myself put on morphine
at the same as taking methadone illegally

At age eighteen I live in isolation and depression
and spend the nights on my lover’s grave

At age nineteen I am diagnosed as having cirrhosis of the liver
and given treatment

At age twenty I am committed to a psychiatric clinic and after two months
I try to escape by making fresh suicide attempts

At age twenty I am convicted of a violent offence and given a prison sentence;
I refuse the treatment imposed

At age twenty-one I leave forced treatment, am clean for four months
and after a relapse have myself put on methadone

At age twenty-two I no longer resist getting into a new relationship
with a man

At age twenty-four I am happy with the birth of our daughter, three days later I am put in prison
and given psychiatric treatment

At age twenty-four my child has disappeared and I discover that the Child Protection Service
has placed her with a foster-mother

At age twenty-seven I hope to put my past and my isolation
behind me
–>

VIENNA

Göllnergasse

Spittelau, Government House

Am Schöpfwerk

Alfred-Kubin-Platz

Friedrich-Engelsplatz, Tram Station

Lobau, Central Park

SMZ- Ost Hospital, Vienna

Donaupark, Iris Lake / Donaupark-Track

Fleischmarkt, Abortion Clinics

Novifallerstrasse, Cemetary

Grossfeldsiedlung

Donau Island, under bridge at Subway

Handelskai, Subway Station

Siebenburgerstrasse

Stephansplatz - Stephansturm

Praterstern, at Ferris Wheel

Hammerschmiedgasse

Stammersdorf, Cemetary Front Gate

Zippererstrasse

Novaragasse / Praterstern

Rötzergasse, Community Center

Mitterhofergasse

–>

–>

–>

I am the daughter of a violent drinker and an anxious mother

At age three I receive medical attention for the first time after my father’s violence,
without my mother protecting me

At age six I am raped by my father and placed in a children’s home
for a year

At age nine I am raped by my sixteen-year-old cousin and my mother brands me a liar
and the traitor of the family

At age eleven I learn to smoke hash and feel good in the company
of outsiders

At age eleven I am sent by my parents to a closed psychiatric unit, fight desperately against it and am given tranquilisers to keep me quiet

At age thirteen I survive my first suicide attempt, am disowned by my father and flee from the city
together with a friend

At age thirteen the friend gives me my first shot of heroin and takes me with her
to walk the streets

At age thirteen I am a drug addict, move in with my pimp and live
in shame

At age fifteen I hope that my divorced mother will take me in
and am rejected

At age sixteen I marry my pimp

At age seventeen I fall in love with a male drug addict, am happy, clean,
and become a mother

At age nineteen I go back to heroin and prostitution

At age twenty-one I provide for my lover, who is in jail, and my son,
by dealing

At age twenty-one I break off contact with my father

At age twenty-two I am diagnosed as having cirrhosis of the liver
and I break off my first course of treatment

At age twenty-three my boyfriend is released and we escape to Germany
because of my court case

At age twenty-three I am arrested, convicted, and given
a long prison sentence

At age twenty-three my boyfriend leaves me

At age twenty-four I understand and forgive my mother’s betrayal

At age twenty-four I am depressed, deliberately harm myself,
and seek help

–>

VIENNA

Stephansdom Cathedral

Michlbeuern General Hospital

Döblinger Hauptstrasse

Vienna Airport, Lower Austria

Bykergasse School

Baumgartner Höhe Psychiatry

Volksgarten/Volkstheater/Disco

Karlsplatz

Mariahilferstrasse Central Station West

Arsenalstrasse Demolition Building

Laxenberger Strasse Registry Office

Thaliastrasse Public Medical Officer

Rankgasse Bar

Karlsplatz

Donau River Island

Braunschweiggasse Therapy Center

Praterstern

Court House

Wittenburgstrasse Court House

Favoriten Prison Building

Baumgartner Höhe Psychiatry

–>

–>

I am the daughter of a violent drinker and an anxious mother

At age three I receive medical attention for the first time after my father’s violence,
without my mother protecting me

At age six I am raped by my father and placed in a children’s home
for a year

At age nine I am raped by my sixteen-year-old cousin and my mother brands me a liar
and the traitor of the family

At age eleven I learn to smoke hash and feel good in the company
of outsiders

At age eleven I am sent by my parents to a closed psychiatric unit, fight desperately against it and am given tranquilisers to keep me quiet

At age thirteen I survive my first suicide attempt, am disowned by my father and flee from the city
together with a friend

At age thirteen the friend gives me my first shot of heroin and takes me with her
to walk the streets

At age thirteen I am a drug addict, move in with my pimp and live
in shame

At age fifteen I hope that my divorced mother will take me in
and am rejected

At age sixteen I marry my pimp

At age seventeen I fall in love with a male drug addict, am happy, clean,
and become a mother

At age nineteen I go back to heroin and prostitution

At age twenty-one I provide for my lover, who is in jail, and my son,
by dealing

At age twenty-one I break off contact with my father

At age twenty-two I am diagnosed as having cirrhosis of the liver
and I break off my first course of treatment

At age twenty-three my boyfriend is released and we escape to Germany
because of my court case

At age twenty-three I am arrested, convicted, and given
a long prison sentence

At age twenty-three my boyfriend leaves me

At age twenty-four I understand and forgive my mother’s betrayal

At age twenty-four I am depressed, deliberately harm myself,
and seek help

–>

I am the grand-daughter of an alcoholic woman

At age six my mother and her boyfriend take me to Austria, to escape
from the poverty in Poland

At age twelve my schoolteacher informs the Child Protection Service
that my stepfather is abusing me

At age twelve I enjoy the kindness and attention of the counselors
at the crisis center

At age thirteen I run away from home and seek the protection
of a children’s home

At age fourteen my mother is not willing to leave my brother’s father
for me

At age fourteen my mother regularly comes to visit me in the home
and brings me sweets

At age fifteen I am an aggressive child, fight with my carers and refuse
to adjust

At age fifteen I smoke marijuana and drink alcohol, together with other children
in the home

At age sixteen I take XTC and speed, am transferred to a boarding school and adapt
to the drug-use of the other girls who live there

At age sixteen I steal a dealer’s hash, copy his behaviour, feel proud of my power as a drug dealer and can afford to take unlimited quantities of heroin

At age seventeen I am given a prison sentence and my lover insists
that I change my life

At age eighteen I wander the streets, seek out the company of other foreign addicts and use
more and more drugs

At age eighteen I go to my mother for help, have myself admitted to a closed psychiatric clinic and am treated and put on inhibitors

At age eighteen I drop out of treatment and turn my aggression
on my mother

At age eighteen I leave the commune

At age nineteen I am sent to prison and my girl-friend ends
our relationship

At age nineteen I am afraid of being alone, get hold of a gun and throw my weight
around in the drugs scene

At age nineteen I am sent to prison and accept treatment
for the first time

At age twenty I am clean and get over being hurt about having been used as
a scapegoat and being an outsider

At age twenty I pray to god for a life free from poison
–>

POLAND/Warsaw

AUSTRIA/Vienna

Central Station South

Youth Center

Crisis Management Center

Lichtensteinstrasse

Kloster Neuburg, Lower Austria

Kloster Neuburg, Niedermarkt, Lower Austria

School, Langstögergasse

Heiligenstadt, Subway St

Nussdorferstrasse, Subway St

Playground in City Park

District Court House, Wickenburggasse

Schwedenplatz

Lichtensteinstrasse

Karlsplatz

Pötzleindorf

Lower Austria, Women Prison Schwarzau

Arbeitergasse, Tram Station

Landstrasse Subway at Mc Donald´s

Prison Favoriten, Hardtmuthgasse 42

Brunnenfeldgasse

–>